


Sing Me To Sleep

by dvisyhead



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Songfic, Swearing, Teenagers, abuse mention, alcohol mention, highschool, pastel!dan, punk!phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 07:55:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3521453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvisyhead/pseuds/dvisyhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan will never forget the time Phil told him not to get too attached.</p><p>Or, punk!Phil suffers from an abusive home life while pastel!Dan tries to make him see reason.<br/>Songfic of 'lullabies' by All Time Low.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sing Me To Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt sent to me on tumblr:  
> "Could you please write more Pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil? If you want to do a songfic i recommend Lullabies by All Time Low."
> 
> Sorry for the terrible summary. I don't know if this fic is even good or not I wrote this in a little under an hour so I hope it's not complete shit. I've had about 5 prompts sitting in my inbox on tumblr and I decided I should really get to work on starting some of them, so here's the first.

_Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye_  
_It could be for the last time and it's not right_  
_"Don't let yourself get in over your head, " he said_  
_"Alone and far from home I'll find you"_

Dan and Phil have managed to make a lot of memories in their time as friends, but he will never forget the time Phil told him not to get too attached to him one night. When Dan had asked him what he meant by that, he refused to explain and just shut the younger boy up with a soft kiss and Dan dropped the subject. He never forgot, even if Phil hadn't brought it up again. That memory had managed to burn itself in the back of his brain and every time Phil seemed to just drop from the face of the earth for a few days, the images of that night seemed to flicker in his mind like a movie screen.

It had been about four days since Dan had last seen Phil. He wasn't in class, didn't texted Dan back, and wasn't showing up to Dan's window late at night like he normally would. Dan knew what it meant, and despite it's reoccurrence, he couldn't help but worry. But he knew in a few Days Phil would show up at his house and would apologize furiously before they would sneak out onto Dan's roof and watch the night sky to forget their problems.

See, Phil had a certain reputation at school. As the boy who skips class to smoke behind the bleachers and the guy who looks like he could kick the shit out of the entire football team, he didn't really show much emotion around school besides boredom and anger. It was all an act though. With Dan, he was a lot more kind and gentle. Even if Phil had gotten him into drinking and smoking occasionally. He still tasted like an ashtray and cheap booze, but Dan loved him for it.

Dan and Phil didn't hang out at school. Dan didn't exactly fit in with Phil's friends. Dan, the kid who constantly wore oversized sweaters and loved pastel colors and played pokemon in his free time didn't exactly fit in with the punk kids covered in tattoos and wore more black than he did. But they've known each other since childhood, and they still hung out after school. Dan didn't really care if their time together was spent mostly during his precious sleeping hours or if Phil was constantly under the intoxication of something, Dan really enjoyed Phil's presence.

Phil always managed to give Dan butterflies when they were together. Dan wasn't exactly sure when it started, but he slowly began to fall in love with Phil Lester. It seemed insane at first, but after a sloppy drunken make out session, Dan had a bit of hope. They talked about the incident a day or two later and Phil admitted he liked him back, and they soon became their own little secret. Dan got to keep Phil's favorite leather jacket and Phil would steal a flower crown or two after their meet ups and those few items would hold the two boys together until they got to see each other again.

_Dead, like a candle you burnt out_  
_Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words_  
_Scream to be heard like you needed any more attention_  
_Throw the bottle, break the door and disappear_

After a week or so had passed without Dan seeing Phil, he was starting to lose even more sleep waiting up for the older boy. It was normally clockwork when Phil would show up around midnight, but finally that night he showed up at around two. Dan wasn't quick to question why he heard the soft knocking on his window so late due to the lack of attention he had from Phil lately so he opened the window to his bedroom. But before Dan could climb out onto his roof to greet him, Phil climbed into Dan's bedroom into the almost pitch black room. The only light coming in was from the open window and Phil's face was masked by the darkness, but Dan knew  it was him by the lanky figure and the familiar smell of Phil's favorite cigarettes lingering in the air.

"Hey, bear. Sorry it's been so long." Phil's voice was quiet and raspy as he spoke. Dan heard him take a deep breath and as he exhaled the sound wavered as if he was about to cry.

Dan took a small step closer to Phil to close the space between them, but in response Phil retreated backwards more.

"Phil, what's wrong?" Dan asked softly, and he moved over to his desk to turn on the small lamp. Before Phil could protest, the room was illuminated with a soft yellow glow and Dan let out a soft gasp. He felt like his heart stopped beating once he looked at Phil's face. His fringe wasn't hiding his face tonight and he could see the dark black and blue splotches lining his face. His eye adorned the biggest bruise on his face while his jaw line had several smaller ones scattered around. Phil didn't move as him and Dan locked eyes. Both of them looked to be on the verge of tears, and after a moment of silence Dan felt himself swallow before speaking.

"I- I thought he didn't hit you there..." Dan heard his voice crack as he finished his sentence, still barely able to comprehend what he was looking at as he continued to take in the entirety of damage on Phil's face.

"He found the flower crowns. He knew they weren't mine." Phil said with a small shrug. "I didn't want you to freak out, you always do..."

"Because your dad fucking abuses you, Phil!" Dan couldn't help but raise his voice as his temper grew. It wasn't necessarily aimed towards Phil, but he couldn't help but get angry at the boy. "He's a homophobic piece of shit and I keep telling you that you should move in with me!"

"He's still my dad.  Anyway, I didn't come here to argue, I need to talk to you. He offered me an ultimatum." Phil continued to speak quietly as he glanced down at his feet, refusing to meet Dan's gaze.

"Oh, one of his famous ultimatums? What is it this time, Phil?" Dan spat a bit venomously.

"He promised he would stop drinking. He said he would go get help, call my mom back and try to work things out with her. But he said he didn't want a faggot under his roof anymore."

"What are you saying?" Dan's voice softened as he grew confused.

"He said he would do all those things, if I got a girlfriend. I can't see you anymore, Dan." Phil's voice broke a bit as he spoke, not able to look up at Dan and face the hurt on his face.

"He has to be lying. He can't be serious, he's just trying to manipulate you-." Dan tried to object, but Phil cut him off swiftly.

"If there's a chance of him and my mom working things out, then I can't just ignore that. It's my fucking family on the line, and I can't risk sneaking around with you anymore. I need to focus on my own happiness."

"Do I not make you happy, Phil?"

Phil let out a soft sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose as he spoke. "It's not that Dan, I-."

"Do I mean fucking nothing to you?" Dan stepped towards Phil and tried to touch him, but Phil quickly slapped his hand away.

"It's not the same fucking thing! My family means a lot more than whatever the fuck we are with all of this sneaking around bullshit. I like you Dan, but that's it. I love my mom, I just- I can't risk it." Phil repeated as his voice grew more demanding and intimidating. "I told you not to get attached, I don't know what the fuck you want from me."

Dan's eyes widened as Phil shouted at him, rendering him speechless as he just stared at Phil once again. "Lion, I-."

"I'm not you're Lion, alright? Just, stay away from me in school. I have to get back home before my dad notices anything, goodbye Dan." Phil turned away from Dan to face the window.

Dan didn't speak up as he watched Phil climb out of the window and made his way over the ledge of his roof before jumping off. Dan didn't move even after he heard the engine of a car start up and eventually disappear in the distance. His whole world seemed to crumble around him as he glanced down at his bed, staring at the black leather jacket laying there. Dan slowly climbed back into bed and picked up the jacket, pulling it close to his chest as he felt silent sobs slowly start to erupt from him.

_Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around_  
_It's like a piece of me is missing_  
_I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?_  
_Don't you realize you showed this family a world of pain?_  
_Can't you see this could have been a happy ending we let go?_

The next week was hell on earth. Dan couldn't stop himself from catching glances at Phil often throughout the day. He had already managed to get a girlfriend just three days after their fight and it was slowly destroying Dan from the inside. He noticed small things about their body language, how Phil constantly had his arm around her shoulders, and if he didn't he was always touching the small of her back or holding her hand. He was trying to get people to notice he was with her. His eyes also didn't seem to light up that often anymore, he always seemed sort of uninterested, even when Dan would catch them making out during lunch or when they skipped class.

Dan also noticed that Phil was missing a lot less school, ignoring when he skipped on his own. Dan wondered if Phil's father was telling the truth when he made his promises to Phil, but he couldn't be sure. He felt selfish, but he wished that Phil had chosen Dan and moved in with him instead rather than Dan having to watch on the sidelines as Phil moved on with his life. He knew that in the end Phil would probably be happier, but Dan knew he wouldn't be. Dan never had a best friend before Phil, and now that relationship was gone and he had no idea how to handle it. Despite everything, Dan had a small sliver of hope that Phil would come back to him in the end and they would make up. He would dump his stupid girlfriend, tell his homophobic father to suck it, and they could be happy together finally. But until then, Dan had to settle with his leather jacket and the realization that he had started smoking because of Phil, and that he was no longer worth the lung cancer.

_Sing me to sleep_  
_I'll see you in my dreams_  
_Waiting to say, "I miss you, I'm so sorry"_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments & kudos are greatly appreciated!!


End file.
